Kids are noisy. A noisy child is usually a healthy child, so we pediatricians welcome noise. Today we give you Top Ten Sounds we are grateful for this Thanksgiving:

10. The sound of a six-month-old baby’s belly laugh.

 9. The sound of a two year old trying to say “gobble, gobble, gobble.”

 8. The sound of a three year old saying “why?” about 100 times a day.

 7. The sound of a chatty first grader who tells you about her favorite part of her day in one gigantic run-on sentence.

 6. The sound of a grade school orchestra concert (as heard through ear plugs).

 5. The sound of a high school orchestra concert played by the same students you remember playing in their grade school concert.

 4. The sound of a teenager confiding something very important during a check up and then answering “yes” to the question “Do your parents know about this?”

 3. The sound of a high school senior saying he got into his first choice college.

 2. The sound of children (and their pets) breathing as they sleep.

 1. The sound of a child’s small voice at Thanksgiving dinner leading her family in thanks.  

Wishing you all a noisy Thanksgiving.

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

Lately my office staff has taken to giving out Sillybandz as rewards for kids who bravely endure the sting of vaccines , cooperate during exams, or just behave well while along for the ride at a sibling’s doctor visit. The kids LOVE them. Better than stickers. Healthier than lollipops.

You poured out all of your two liter soda bottles, replaced all the potato chip snacks with fruit and signed all your children up for winter sports.  Just when you thought your family’s activity and diet balance was perfect, along comes Halloween, that fabulous candy-filled holiday to thwart your efforts. Ways to keep the candy deluge down to a trickle:

-Let your children know Halloween (and most holidays) lasts only one day. Live it up on Halloween then dump the extra sweets into the trashcan the next day.

-Buy back the candy with toys or money.  Alternatively, have the sweet tooth fairy come overnight, pick up the candy and leave a present behind.

-If you decide to keep a small bag of candy around, watch out, your children will be tempted to eat some daily. Candy becomes an ongoing “must have.” Instead, designate a day to eat candy during the week such as Sweet Saturday or Candy Friday. If the kids whine for candy on any other day of the week, you can say, ”Sorry, it’s not Sweet Saturday.”

-One parent told me she discourages her kids from eating Halloween candy by making their dental appointments on November 1—the day after Halloween.

According to an article published in the New England Journal of Medicine in 2000, the average American adult gains about a pound over the winter holidays. Unfortunately, the weight is not shed during the rest of the year.  

Hope your kids don’t grow into that kind of adult. Now, that’s a scary Halloween thought.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod

Parents can become frustrated when searching for effective therapeutic treatment for childhood anxiety. Parents want to know what works and what their child will experience. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one type of therapy for children which directly addresses the behaviors kids exhibit. When anxiety starts, CBT gives kids concrete strategies to employ. Today psychologist and mom, Dr. Leah Murphy gives us an example of cognitive behavioral therapy treatment and how it involves the patient’s family and community.

Naline Lai, MD and Julie Kardos, MD

We all experience anxiety at times; anxiety can help us get things done (e.g., study for a test, finish a project, complete things in time for deadlines) and inform us that something is wrong. However, frequent, moderate to high levels of childhood anxiety both prevent, and interfere with, enjoyment and success in the school, home, and social arenas, resulting in a poorer quality of life. Wanting to improve your child’s anxiety and stress without “pushing them” much? You could have a look about at what summer activities for kids might be able to help manage their anxieties.

The experience of Connor, an 11 year-old boy, is a good example of how children can experience and show social and separation anxiety, as well as of how psychologists help children with anxiety.

Connor constantly worried. When he came to school Connor clung to his mother. At bedtime, Connor was unable to fall asleep without a parent staying with him, and he would often wake up and go into his parents’ room in the middle of the night. He even felt uncomfortable talking to other children. He constantly worried that kids would not like him and that he would “do something” that would cause the other children to tease him. He would avoid other children, and as a result, he had very few friends. He felt sad and lonely. Connor’s social and separation anxiety also manifested in physical symptoms. He felt nauseous, tired, suffered headaches and stomach aches, and experienced panic attacks in social situations. At school, Connor failed to concentrate on his work. Anger ensued when he felt pressure to perform anxiety provoking acts.

To help Conner, his pediatrician determined Conner had anxiety but no other medical condition and referred Conner to us for therapy. Our initial therapy sessions focused on teaching him how to to identify and express his feelings. During these sessions he created a feelings dictionary book and a feelings collage.

During the next set of sessions, Connor learned relaxation skills (deep breathing and muscle relaxation), positive coping thinking (“I can do this, the chance of something bad happening is very small, the chance of something good happening is very big”), and problem solving skills to help him to identify and implement solutions to the problems that made him nervous. Most sessions were conducted individually, but his parents participated in these sessions at times to learn the skills and to establish a plan for practicing and using these skills outside of our sessions. Also, I conducted parent-only and family meetings helped his parents cope with their own stress and anxiety about Connor’s difficulties.

During the last part of the skills based therapy, Connor used his skills in the situations which made him anxious. Starting with the least anxiety provoking situations, he gradually worked into more anxiety provoking situations. He practiced asking a teacher for a pencil, asking a waiter for a napkin/straw, introducing himself to a new peer, giving answers in class, asking a teacher for help, and going to swim lessons/baseball. We made a list of coping strategies (think positive, deep breathing, muscle relaxation, use problem solving steps, ask an adult for support/help) that he could use when overcoming anxiety provoking situations. He hung this list in his room and sometimes took it with him in his pocket or backpack. Apparently it was a lot of help to him.

Connor’s parents and school/camp staff prompted and reinforced his use of these skills in anxiety provoking situations. Connor had a point chart in which he earned points for using his skills and doing anxiety provoking activities. When he earned a sufficient number of points, he would pick a privilege from the privilege list that he created with his parents. Parent-only meetings during this time further assisted his parents cope with the discomfort and distress that they experienced when Connor began engaging in situations that caused him anxiety.

Additionally, Connor participated in a social skills group for children experiencing anxiety. Therapy groups are a great way for children to practice social skills while in a small group setting under supervision. The group practiced relaxation skills, as well as introduction/greeting and conversation skills. The group also learned skills to make friends.

In response to the therapy, all of Connor’s anxiety symptoms stopped over the course of 9-12 months, and his mood changed from anxious and fearful to calm and happy much of the time. He successfully attended school, participated in camp and after school programs, participated in social and recreational activities with children, and established friendships.

Sometimes, other strategies are needed to alleviate anxiety, including medication. Your pediatrician is able to provide information about medication options.

Leah Murphy, Psy.D.

Center for Psychology and Counseling www.psychologyandcounseling.com

© 2010 Two Peds in a Pod

(introduction modified 10:48a.m. October 13, 2010)

She’s eyeing your lip gloss and won’t wear clothes with animals or hearts on them anymore. She’s begging you for a Facebook account, but still talks to her dolls and holds her dad’s hand in public. Yes, your daughter is on the edge of puberty and you’ve been talking to her about her upcoming body changes and getting her period. But your own memory of early adolescence from a couple of decades ago is a little fuzzy. Beyond the basic anatomical changes, did you cover everything?  Here is a smattering of questions about menstruation which may not have occurred to you, but we hear in the office:

From the girls: Does a period hurt just like when I cut myself?

In a kid’s experience, blood is associated with an injury and therefore pain. Reassure your daughter that bleeding during a period is not like the bleeding of a cut. Yes, you can mention that she may feel cramps, but usually not initially.

From the moms: When can she wear a tampon?

At any point. Several manufacturers make tampons especially designed for teens. Do not worry; even for a virgin, a tampon will not cause any injury. Just like you’ve taught her everything, you may need to teach her how to insert and take out a tampon.Warning—do not teach her five minutes before she leaves for the beach during her period. For some girls, removing the tampon is more difficult than inserting it. Teach her/ talk it through when she is not menstruating. Remind her to change tampons frequently- young girls in particular are more vulnerable to Toxic Shock Syndrome.

From both: It’s been months, how long until her period is regular?

It can take around two years for periods to come regularly. Once they are regular, the average frequency is every 28 days, but can vary from 21 to 36 days.

From the girls: Will I know when I get my period?

Let your girls know that when they see their first period it may not be a bright red blotch of blood on their underpants. Explain that dried blood looks like brownish streaks; they may confuse it with stool.

From both: In this age of skinny jeans and jeggings, where to hide a pad or tampon during school?

If she doesn’t carry a purse, then have your daughter try inside the cuff of a sock or tucked in the waistband of pants. I have seen a thin pad hidden under the tongue of a sneaker.

From the girls: Do I go to the nurse’s office if I get my period for the first time during school?

Not necessarily, unless you are looking for pads. This is not an illness.

Remind your tween to let you know when she starts getting her period and that you will keep it private. One girl told me she did not tell her mother for months. The reason? Her neighbor’s mother had given her neighbor a “Red” party in honor of her neighbor’s first period. Everyone wore red to the party and there was even a red cake. My patient was appalled at the attention and avoided telling her own mother until well after her menstrual cycle was well established.

Also, you can help your tween track how heavy her flow is by checking her supply of pads and tampons. Excessively heavy periods cause anemia from blood loss and young girls can be unaware how much blood loss is normal. Remind her that if she has to change a pad once an hour, or if her period drags on over a week (average is three to seven days) she needs to tell you about it. Even without excessive blood loss, make sure she eats iron containing foods (eg. spinach, lean red meats) to help prevent anemia.

If you get overwhelmed by all the facts about menstruation which need to be explained, keep in mind this conversation I once had during a check-up. During the visit I gave a young teen a moment alone to ask questions privately. As the door closed behind her mother, I asked the girl if she had any questions about adolescence.

“No questions,” she declared.” I wear a bra… I bleed every month. There’s nothing else to know.”

Wish everything about the teenage years could be so simple.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

© 2010, revised 2017 Two Peds in a Pod®

Two Peds in a Pod turns today to guest blogger Dr. Alan Woolf, Director of the Pediatric Environmental Health Center at Children’s Hospital Boston and president-elect  of the American Academy of Clinical Toxicology, to tackle the question, “Should you feed your kids organic fruits and vegetables?”

Nutritionists are urging parents to feed kids one and one-half cups of fruit and two and one-half cups of vegetables daily and the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests whole fruit rather than juice to meet most of the daily fruit requirements. 

 Are they worth it? Will non-organic produce harm your kid? No easy answers here. American consumers demand a bountiful supply of blemish-free, perfect fruits and vegetables. We want unspotted shiny red apples, brightly colored large oranges and arrow-straight asparagus. Farmers want to give us just that. Since pests attack crops causing blemishes, worms, blight, and other forms of costly crop damage, farmers have been using pesticides for years to increase crop yield, profit, and visual marketability. 

The US Dept of Agriculture (USDA) regulates the agricultural procedures and labeling that use the buzz word organic. Obviously every business wants to put that word on their product if it means consumers will run out and buy it. The USDA will certify farms that use organic methods. But even the USDA’s definition of organic allows a percentage of synthetic chemicals to be added to products labeled organic. Also organic does not mean that the food contains increased amounts of essential minerals and vitamins or is more nutritious for you. And remember that organic produce doesn’t necessarily come from small, cuddly, local, family-run farms. Most large, international agribusinesses are touting organic foods for sale these days.

That being said, you still need to be cautious. In pediatrics we often invoke the “precautionary principle.” The idea is that if you don’t exactly know what a chemical will do to a child’s health because there aren’t enough scientific studies out there, then you assume that what it is capable of is bad and so, if possible, try not to expose them, just as a precaution. 

When you can, buy from local farms or stands where you can ask them their growing practices, or else just grow your own. If you decide to buy organic foods, you should eat them right away. They may not stay edible as long without preservatives. Again, no matter what type of food you buy, wash, wash, wash.

Finally, alternative “greener” farming techniques, integrated pest management (IPM), and more resistant varieties of plants have increased crop yields, in many cases without using as much pesticide. That’s good news for all of us. Breeding of genetically-engineered plants require less use of pesticides, but they may not be acceptable to most consumers. That’s a whole column in itself!

The bottom line: My wife and I will try to buy organic foods when we think of it, but we don’t obsess over it when we forget. 

Alan Woolf, MD, MPH, FAACT, FAAP

Director, Pediatric Environmental Health Center, Children’s Hospital Boston

© 2010 Two Peds in a Pod®

A few days ago, I spoke with the faculty of a local early childhood education center about flu vaccine myths. See how you do on the true and false quiz I gave them:

I can tell when I am getting the flu and will leave work before I infect anyone.

False. According to the CDC (US Center for Disease Control), you are infectious the day before symptoms show up.

I never get the flu so it’s not necessary to get the vaccine. 

False. Saying I’ve never had the flu is like saying, “I’ve never a car accident so I won’t wear my seat belt.”

I hate shots. I hear I can get a flu vaccine in a different form.

True.  One flu vaccine, brand name Flu Mist, provides immunity when squirted in the nose. Non-pregnant, healthy people aged 2-49 years of age qualify for this type of vaccine.

I got the flu shot so I was healthy all year.

False. Perhaps it was the half-hour a day you added to your workout, or the surgical mask you wore to birthday parties, but your entirely healthy winter was not secondary just to the flu vaccine.  The United States flu vaccine protects against several strains of flu predicted to cause illness this winter. This year’s vaccine contain both seasonal and the 2009 H1N1 strains. Your body builds up a defense (immunity) only against the strains covered in the vaccine. Immunity will not be conferred to the thousands of other viruses which exist. On the other hand, the vaccine probably did protect you from some forms of the flu, and two fewer weeks of illness feels great.

My friend got the flu shot last year, therefore, she was sick all winter.

My condolences. True, your friend was sick. But the answer is False, because the illnesses were not caused by the flu vaccine.  Vaccines are not real germs, so you can’t “get” a disease from the vaccine. But to your body, vaccine proteins appear very similar to real germs and your immune system will respond by making protection against the fake vaccine germ. When the real germ comes along, pow, your body already has the protection to fend off the real disease. Please know, however, there is a chance that for a couple days after a vaccine, you will ache and have a mild fever. The reason? Your immune system is simply revving up. But no, the flu vaccine does not give you an illness.

I got the flu vaccine every year for the past decade. I will still need to get one this year.

True. Unfortunately, the flu strains change from year to year. Previous vaccines may not protect you against current germs.

I am a healthy adult and not at high risk for complications from the flu, so I will forgo the flu vaccine this year.

False. The flu vaccine is now recommended for everyone greater than 6 months of age. When supply is limited, targeted groups at risk for flu complications include all children aged 6 months–18 years, all persons aged ≥50 years, and persons with medical conditions that put them at risk for medical complications.   These persons, people living in their home, their close contacts, and their CARETAKERS are the focus of vaccination. 

Even if I get the flu, I’ll just wash my hands a lot to keep the germ from spreading. I have to come back to work because I don’t have much time off.

False, According to the American Academy of Pediatrics Report of the Committee on Infectious Diseases, the influenza virus can spread from an infected person for about a week after infection.

Yes, kids get sick from others kids, but as a parent who comes in contact with two children, an early childhood educator who comes in contact with ten children, an elementary school teacher who comes in contact with twenty children or a high school teacher who comes into contact with one-hundred children daily, you may end up the one who seeds your community with a potentially deadly illness.  Right now, flu vaccine clinics are as plentiful as Starbucks. Hit that CVS or Walgreens on the way home, wander into your doctor’s or grab a shot while you get groceries.  By protecting yourself from the flu, you protect the children you care for.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

© 2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

Move over liveStrong bracelets, move over Silly Bandz. Just when you thought you threw away the your last Oriental Trading Company gadget, here come “I Love Boobies” bracelets.  As I see the newest overpriced piece of fashionable rubber dangle from my daughter’s wrist, I sigh at the cost, but console myself that at least the money goes towards breast cancer research.  Use the bracelets as a reminder to teach your girls to do monthly breast exams. The American Cancer Society recommends monthly self-breast exams starting at age twenty. However, most pediatricians recommend starting exams earlier. Breasts are full of normal lumps and bumps and your teen or young adult should know her baseline. For directions on conducting a breast exam refer to American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology’s online pamphlet . Yes, even a fashion accessory can turn into a parental teaching point. Now what do jeggings teach kids?

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

Can you identify your child in any of these scenarios?

-Your second grader comes off the school bus crying because another student was teasing him the entire ride home about his new glasses.

-Your fifth grader was punched on the school yard by a sixth grader and none of the playground teachers saw it happen. Your child’s friend shoved the older child off your child before more damage was done.

-Your ninth grader keeps missing the school bus so you have to drive her to school.  When she comes home from school she uses the bathroom immediately. You find out she avoids the bus and the school bathroom because verbal abuse occurs in both places.

Whatever your child’s age, when you realize he or she is being bullied you will be outraged. In fact you might be tempted to retaliate against the bully yourself. However, here are more appropriate ways to help your child.

Bullying should never be tolerated. Teach your child how to directly deal with a bully, but be quick to talk also to the adult supervising your child when the bullying occurs. Your child should always feel safe in school, day camp, on a sports team, or any other adult-supervised activity.

Bullies are always in a position of power over their victims; either they are physically larger, older, or more socially popular. Teach your child first to try a strong verbal response (talk) such as “STOP talking to me that way!” or “Don’t DO that to me!” Speaking strongly and looking the bully in the eye may take away some of the bully’s power as well as attract attention of nearby peers or adults who can help your child.

Teach your child to walk away from a fight. Tell him to keep on walking toward a teacher, a classroom, a peer, or anyone else who can offer safety from a bully. Train him to breathe deeply/ignore/de-escalate situations to diffuse a bully’s anger.

Have your child tell a teacher, camp counselor, coach, or other supervising adult about the abuse (squawk) as soon as it occurs. Always encourage your children to talk to you as well. Remember at home to ask your child questions such as “How is school,” “How are your friends,” “Do you know any kids who are being bullied?,” and “Are YOU being bullied?”

If your child says he is angry at a friend or a classmate, be sure to ask questions that encourage your child to elaborate, such as “Oh, what happened?” or “Did something happen between you?” Listen carefully to his response. He may be taking out his anger at a bully on his own friends. This response is in retaliation for his friend’s failure to protect him from a bully. Also, is your child becoming more reluctant to attend school, “missing” the bus more often and thus requiring a ride, or acting angry or sad more often? Kids who are victims of bullying can act like this.

In school, once you are aware that your child is a victim, talk not only to your child about how she should handle a bully but also alert your child’s teacher and/or school principal about the situation (support). You should tell them in your child’s words what happened, what was said, and be clear that you are asking for more supervision so that the bully has less access to your child. Ask for more supervision during times when there is usually less adult presence such as in the lunchroom or on the schoolyard. Your school may already have a “no bullying” policy. Often, the aggressor gets the heavier consequence in the event of a conflict.  Again, children have a right to feel safe in school.

Restore your child’s self-confidence. Bullies pick on kids who are smaller and weaker than they are, physically as well as psychologically. So your child has more positive experiences with kids who do not bully, encourage your child to invite friends over to your home or host a fun group activity (kickball game in your backyard, show a movie/supply popcorn, etc.). Do family activities and show your child that you enjoy spending time with him. Enroll your child in activities that increase his self esteem such as karate, sports, or music lessons.  A child who feels good about himself “walks taller” and is less likely to attract a bully.

As a parent, you might read this post and think, “Yes, but I’d rather just teach my child to take revenge.” Unfortunately, escalating the situation only breeds anger and in fact may get your child into trouble. Rather than “hate” the bully, help your child see that a bully deep down feels insecure. A bully resorts to making himself feel better by making others feel bad. Teach your child to pity the bully. With your guidance, your child will project self-confidence and a bully will never, ever, be able to touch him.

Julie Kardos, MD with Naline Lai, MD
© 2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

A concerned parent wrote to us: