Cooped up kids? Indoor exercise ideas

Last week we all sat on the couch watching the Super Bowl. If your kids are still on the couch, this post on indoor exercises by Dr. Deborah Stack is for you:

Let’s face it, it’s hard to move when it’s cold and it’s freezing at my home. I believe today’s high is 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Now while this may not deter younger children from bundling up and going sledding, teen couch potatoes are busy whining that it’s “too cold.” So there they sit.

What’s the secret to keeping them active in the winter months? Have them schedule an activity, and be an example yourself. Ideas for teens (and you) to do when it’s cold outside:

Have a 15-minute dance party

Have a Wii contest

Try swimming (indoors please!)

Dust off the treadmill or stationary bike in the basement and GET ON IT

Play ping-pong

Do a few chores

Jump rope

Jog during T.V. commercials

Pull out some “little kid games” such as hopscotch, hula-hoop or Twister

Let each child in your house choose an activity for everyone to try

Teens, like everyone else, need exercise to stay healthy. Staff from the Mayo Clinic recommend kids ages 6-17 years should have one hour of moderate exercise each day. Exercise can help improve mood (through the release of endorphins), improve sleep and therefore attention (critical with finals coming up), and improve cardiovascular endurance. Those spring sports really ARE just around the corner.

Here are some numbers to get the kids moving: All activities are based on 20 minutes and a teen who weighs 110 pounds. The number of calories burned depends on weight. If your teen weighs more, he will burn a few more calories, if he weighs less, he’ll burn a few less. Below the table are links to some free and quick calorie calculators on the web so your teen can check it out for him self. For those attached to their phones, there are web apps too.

ACTIVITY	CALORIES USED
Shooting Basketballs	75
Pickup Basketball game/practice	100
Biking on stationary bike	116
Dancing	75
Hopscotch	67
Ice Skating	116
Jogging in place	133
Juggling	67
Jumping Rope	166
Ping Pong	67
Rock Climbing	183
Running at 5 mph	133
Sledding	116
Treadmill at 4 mph	67
Vacuuming	58

What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll have a more fit, better rested, and happier teen! Or at least you’ll have a cleaner home!

Try these activity calculators:

http://primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/calculat.htm

www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php

http://www.caloriecontrol.org/healthy-weight-tool-kit/lighten-up-and-get-moving

References:

www.mayoclinic.com/health/fitness/FL00030.
www.caloriesperhour.com/index.burn.php

Deborah Stack, PT, DPT, PCS

With over 15 years of experience as a physical therapist, guest blogger Dr. Stack heads The Pediatric Therapy Center of Bucks County in Pennsylvania www.buckscountypeds.com. She holds both masters and doctoral degrees in physical therapy from Thomas Jefferson University.

modified from the original Jan 26, 2011 post

Croup’s cropping up

We can tell from this past week at the office that croup season has started. DON’T PANIC! Read on to learn what to look for and what to worry about. Please also listen to our podcast on this same subject.

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a seal barking…inside your house. More specifically, from inside a crib or toddler bed. Unless you actually have a pet seal, that sound is likely the sound of your child with croup.

“Croup” is the lay term for any viral illness causing swelling of the voice box (larynx) which produces a seal-like cough. The actual medical term is “laryngotracheobronchitis.” In adults, the same viruses may cause laryngitis and hoarseness, but minimal cough. In children the narrowest part of a child’s airway is his voice box. So not only does the child with croup sound hoarse when he talks and cries, but since he breathes through a much narrower opening, when he forces air out with a cough, he will sound like a barking seal. When a kid with croup breathes in, he may produce a weird guttural noise, called “stridor.”

Many viruses cause croup, including flu (influenza) viruses. Therefore, a flu vaccine can protect against croup. While no antibiotic or other medicine can kill the croup causing viruses, here are some ways to help your child feel better.

What to do when your child has croup:

Stay calm. The noisy breathing and barky cough frighten children and their parents alike. It’s easier for the child to breathe when he is calm rather than anxious and crying. So, even if you are scared, try to act calmly since children take their cues from their parents.

Try steam. Run the shower high and hot, close the bathroom door and sit down on the bathroom rug with your child and sing a song or read a book or just rock him gently. The steam in the bathroom can help shrink the swelling in your child’s voice box and calm his breathing.

Go outside. For some reason, cool air also helps croup. The more misty the better. In fact, many a parent in the middle of the night has herded their barking, noisy breathing child outside and into the cold car to drive to the hospital. Once in the emergency room, the parents are surprised to find a happily sleeping, or wide awake, chatty child, “cured” by the cold night ride.

Run a humidifier. A cool-mist humidifier running in your child’s room will also help. Make her room feel like a rain forest, or the weather on a really bad hair day, and often the croupy cough will subside. Cool-mist humidifiers in the child’s room are safer than hot air vaporizers because vaporizers pose a burn risk. It’s the mist that helps, not the temperature of the mist.

Offer ibuprofen or acetaminophen. Your child may cough, and then cry, because her throat is sore. Pain relief will make her more comfortable and allow her to get back to sleep.

Who needs further treatment?

Most kids, more than 95%, who come down with croup, get better on their own at home. Typically, croup causes up to three nights of misery punctuated by trips into the cold night air or steam treatments. During the day, kids can seem quite well, with perhaps a slightly hoarse voice as the only reminder of the night’s tribulations. Why croup is worse at night and much better during the daytime hours remains a medical mystery. One theory is, just like ankles swell after one is upright all day, swelling in the voice box increases when people lie down. After the three nights, your child usually just exhibits typical cold symptoms with runny nose, a regular sounding cough, watery eyes, and a possible ear infection at the end. Then brace yourself for next time—kids predisposed to croup tend to get croup the next time a croup causing virus blows into town. But take heart, most kids outgrow the disposition for croup around six years of age.

Some kids do develop severe breathing difficulties. If your child shows any of these symptoms, get emergency medical care:

Turns pale or blue with coughing. Turning red in the face with coughing is not as dangerous.

Seems unable to swallow/unable to stop drooling.

Breathing fails to improve after steam, cool air, humidity, or breathing seems labored– nostrils flare with every breath or chest heaves with every breath—pull up their night shirts to check for this. See this link for an example of labored breathing.

Mental state is altered: your child does not recognize you or becomes inconsolable.

Child is unimmunized and has a high fever and drooling along with his croup symptoms: he may not have croup but rather epiglottitis, most commonly caused by a vaccine-preventable bacteria. This is a separate illness that can be fatal and requires airway management as well as antibiotics in a hospital.

We searched the internet for a good example of what the “seal bark” cough of croup. The best imitation we found is actually the sound of a sea lion. We will have to ask a veterinarian sometime if seals and sea lions get croup. If so, what do they sound like?

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD
©2012 Two Peds in a Pod®

Beth: a story of life and hope

At this time of the Jewish High Holy Days, Dr. Kardos offers us a glimpse into lessons learned as a doctor in training. This is a true story she wrote years after meeting Beth and until now, had only shared with a few close friends.

Tonight starts Yom Kippur and my two youngest children are asleep in their beds. As my oldest sits in the rocker next to my desk reading the last book in the Lord of the Rings series, my husband relaxes playing a computer adventure game. The Jewish High Holy Days are a time for reflection about the past year. But my mind goes back to a Yom Kippur Eve when I was working as a resident in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) as part of my pediatric training.

Residents work through most holidays, even ones they consider important. This night, I wished I had off, but I consoled myself with knowing that I would be off on Thanksgiving. Luckily I was partnered with Amy, the lead physician in the PICU.

The sickest patient that night was twelve-year-old Beth. She had leukemia and had just started chemotherapy. Because her immune system was weak, Beth was very ill with a bacterial infection in her blood. Despite powerful antibiotics, the infection raised havoc in her body. She developed such difficulty breathing that a tube from a mechanical ventilator was placed down her throat to force air into her lungs. Even the comfort of sleep escaped her. Beth was afraid of what was happening to her body. She refused to accept medicine that could help her sleep because she was so afraid that she would never wake up.

That night, despite her incredibly ill state, she got her period. Usually when a girl’s body is stressed, the body preserves all blood and the periods stop. But hers came, and because her blood cells were so abnormal from a toxic combination of infection, chemotherapy, and leukemia, she began bleeding to death. We transfused her with bag after bag of blood to keep her alive.

In the middle of the night, Beth’s blood pressure suddenly plummeted so we added even more medication. Because my mentor Amy was not certain that Beth would survive the night, we called her family at the hotel near the hospital where they were staying and told them come to Beth’s side. And through it all, Beth refused to sleep. Her eyes always opened in terror whenever we approached her bed. Her face was gray. Her chest rose and fell to the rhythm of the mechanical ventilator, and you could smell the fear all around her.

I stood with Amy just outside Beth’s room as Amy reviewed a checklist for Beth’s care. It went something like: “Ok, we just called blood bank for more blood; we called her family; we called the lab; we called the pharmacy. We are currently attending to all of her problems, we now just have to wait for her body to respond.” She paused,” But you know what?”

“What?” I asked her.

“We need to address her spiritual needs as well. Do we know what religion her family is? They may want a clergy member with them.”

I was startled. In the midst of all the tubes and wires of technology, Amy remembered to summon the human factor in medicine. We looked in her medical chart under “religious preference” and there it was: Jewish.

“Amy,” I said, “of all nights. Tonight is Yom Kippur…the holiest night of the Jewish year.”

I knew that the hospital had a Rabbi “on call” just like they had priests, nuns, ministers, and other spiritual leaders. But that night I was sure that every rabbi in Philadelphia would be at synagogue for Kol Nidre, the declaration chanted at the beginning of the Yom Kippur evening service. We were unlikely to track down a Rabbi.

Despite this, we asked her mother if they wanted us to call a Rabbi for them. She shook her head no. I remember feeling relieved, then guilty that I felt relieved. Amy left to check on another patient. Beth’s mom, dad, and older sister stood together watching Beth. Her sister’s hand lay on her mother’s arm. Her mother’s eyes darted from me to Beth to the mechanical ventilator next to the bed. Beth’s eyes were closed and it was difficult to know if she even knew we were there.

Her family walked out into the hall to talk. Beth at that moment opened her eyes and started tapping on the bed with her foot to get my attention. She couldn’t talk because of the tube down her throat and her hands were taped down with IVs. Yet she reached out with one hand as best she could.

I walked close to her bed so she could touch me and I asked, what is it, Beth?

Her lips formed the words around the breathing tube very deliberately, her body tensing. “Am I going to die?”

All in a split second I am thinking to myself: How do I know/it could very well happen/how can I lie to her/how can I tell her the truth of what I fear could very well happen/how am I going to answer this child?

What I answered was, “Not tonight, Beth.”

She relaxed into her pillow but kept her eyes on mine. I waited to see if she would say anything else, but the effort to ask that one question had exhausted her. I stood, holding her hand, until her family came back into the room. Her eyes followed them to her bed and I left so they could be together.

Beth did survive the night and in fact survived a month in the PICU. She became well enough to be transferred to a regular hospital floor. By this time I was working in a different part of the hospital, but one of the oncologists pointed her out to me.

I don’t know what happened to her in the long term.

So now I tell my oldest child it’s time for him to stop reading and go to sleep, and I walk him to his room to say goodnight. My husband and I decide what time we’ll attend Yom Kippur services tomorrow. Part of me feels joined with Jews everywhere who will also be spending the next day reflecting, praying and celebrating a new year. But mostly, like every year at this time, I remember the sounds and the smells and the fear in the PICU where sickness doesn’t care who your God is or what your intentions are. I remember Amy caring enough to think about a dying child’s family religion, and always, I remember Beth.

Originally posted in fall, 2010

Julie Kardos, MD
© 2012 Two Peds in a Pod ®

Breastfeeding: the first two weeks

I always tell new moms that if you can breastfeed for two weeks, then you can breastfeed for two years. The point is, while our species has been breastfeeding for millions of years, sometimes it’s not intuitive. Getting to the two week point isn’t always easy, but once you’re there, you’ll be able to continue “forever.”

So, how to get through those first two weeks of breastfeeding?

Practice. Fortunately, your newborn will become hungry for a meal every two hours, on average, giving you many opportunities to practice. For the first few meals, a newborn can feel full after eating only one teaspoon of colostrum (the initial clear milk). The size of a person’s stomach is the size of his fist. For a baby, that’s pretty small. So relax about not making a lot of milk those first few days.

But remember, your baby’s needs will change and she will start to require more milk. A nursing baby tells the mom’s body to produce more milk by stimulating the breast. Nurse more often and production will increase. Traditionally, moms are told to attempt a feeding every 2-3 hours. But babies do not come with timers, and Dr. Lai tells moms the interval of time between feeds is not as important as the number of times the breast is stimulated. Around 8-12 feedings a day is usually enough to get a mom’s milk to “come in.”

How many minutes should your baby breastfeed at each feeding?

Some lactation consultants advocate allowing the baby to feed on one breast as long as she wants before switching sides. I am more of a proponent of efficiency (I had twins, after all). What works well for many of my patients for the first few days is to allow the baby to nurse for 5-8 minutes on one breast, then break suction and put the baby on the other breast for the same amount of time. If your baby still seems hungry, you can always put her back on the first breast for another five minutes, followed by the other breast again for five minutes. Work your way up to 10-15 minutes on each side once your milk is in, which can take up to one week for some women. Nursing the baby until a breast is empty gives the baby the rich hind milk as well as the initial, but less fatty fore milk. Close mom’s kitchen for at least an hour after feedings. Beware of being used as a human pacifier.

Advantages for this feeding practice:

Prevents your newborn from falling asleep before finishing a feeding because of the activity of changing sides
Stimulates both breasts to produce milk at every feeding
Prevents mom from feeling lopsided
Prevents mom from getting too sore
Allows time in between feedings for mom to eat, drink, nap, use the bathroom, shower (remember, these are essentials of life)
Teaches baby to eat in 30 minutes or less.

I have seen improved weight gain in babies whose moms breast feed in this way. However, if your baby gains weight well after feeding from one breast alone each feeding, or if you are not sore or dangerously fatigued from allowing your baby to feed for a longer time, then carry on!

How do you know if your baby is getting enough milk?

While all babies lose weight after birth, babies should not lose more than 10% of their birth weight, and they should regain their birth weight by 2-3 weeks of life. Babies should also pee and poop a lot (some poop after EVERY feeding) which is a reflection of getting enough breast milk. Your child’s doctor should weigh your baby by two weeks of life to make sure he “makes weight.”

Many good sources can show you different suggestions for feeding positions. Experiment to see which is most comfortable for you and your baby. If you notice one spot on a breast is particularly full and tender, position your baby so that his chin points towards that spot. This may make for awkward positions, but in this way, he drains milk more efficiently from the full spot.

When you first get home with your newborn, if the visitors in your house aren’t willing to do your dishes, then kick them out. It’s time to practice feeding.

Stay tuned for our next post where we address breastfeeding beyond two weeks.

Helpful websites:

To find a lactation consultant near you see the International Lactation Consultant Association

For our moms across the world and the States- La Leche League International and The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia- breastfeeding tips for beginners

For moms in Bucks, Montgomery, and Philadelphia Counties, Pennsylvania- Nursing Mother’s Advisory Council

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD

ABC and zzzz’s on Parent Connections Cable TV

CBCares Do you live in the Central Bucks School District in Pennsylvania? We just got back from filming a segment on sleep and breakfast hints on Parent Connections- running through September.

CBTV community cable
Comcast 28/Verizon 40
7:30 pm on Tuesday, Thursday and Sundays

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD
©2012 Two Peds in a Pod®

Spit-up in babies: Spew and Eew

spit up in babies

In my office, two-month-old Max smiles ear to ear, naked except for a diaper and a bib. His worried mom asks me about the large amounts of spit up Max spews forth daily. “He spits up after every feeding. It seems like everything he eats just comes back up. It even comes out of his nose!” she says. Max gained an expected amount of weight, an average of one ounce per day, since his one-month check-up. He breastfeeds well and accepts an occasional bottle from his dad. Even after spitting up and drenching his bib and everything around him, he remains comfortable and cheerful. He is well hydrated, urinates often, and poops normally.

In short, Max is a “happy spitter” Other than creating piles of laundry, he acts like any healthy baby.

Contrast this to two-month-old “Mona.” She also spits up frequently. Sometimes it’s right after a feed and sometimes an hour later. She seems hungry, yet she’ll cry, arch her back, and pull off the nipple while feeding. She cries before and after spitting up. Her weight gain is not so good— she averaged one-half ounce of gain per day since her one-month visit. She seems more comfortable when upright and more cranky lying down.

Mona is not a “happy spitter.”

Last story and then the lesson:

“Chloe” is a two month old baby who cries. Often. Loudly. Although most of the wailing occurs in the late afternoon and early evening, she also cries other times. She eats great and in fact, seems very happy while she feeds. She smiles at her parents mainly in the morning. She also smiles at her ceiling fan and the desk lamp. Movement calms her and her parents worry that she spends excessive time rocking in their arms or in her swing. Her cries pierce through walls and make her parents feel helpless. She often spits up during crying jags, and erupts with gas. She gained weight well since her last visit.

Here’s the lesson:

All babies cry. All babies pee and poop. All babies sleep (at times). AND: all babies spit up. The muscle in the lower esophagus that keeps our food and drink down in our stomachs and prevents it from sloshing upwards, called the “lower esophageal sphincter,” is loose in all babies. The muscle naturally tightens up and becomes more effective over the first year of life, which is why younger babies tend to spit up more than older babies.

Max has GER (gastroesophageal reflux) , Chloe has GER/ colic and Mona has GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). Max and Chloe have physiologic, or normal, reflux. Mona has reflux that interferes with her mood, her feedings, and her growth.

GER, GERD and colic (excessive crying in an otherwise healthy baby, see our post on this topic) improve by three to four months of age. If your baby cries often (enough to make you cry as well) then you should see your baby’s pediatrician to help determine the cause. It helps, before your visit, to think about when the crying occurs (with feedings? At certain times of the day?), what soothes the crying (feeding? walking/rocking?) and other symptoms that accompany the crying such as spitting up, fever, or coughing. Keeping a three day diary for trends can help pinpoint a diagnosis. We worry a lot when the babies are not “spitting up” but are actually “vomiting.” Spit blobs onto the ground. Vomit shoots to the ground. Vomit which is yellow, is accompanied by a hard stomach, is painful, is forceful (think Exorcist), or enough to cause dehydration, all may be signs of blockage in the belly such as pyloric stenosis or vovulus. Seek medical attention immediately.

The treatment for Max, the happy spitter with GER? Lots of bibs for baby and extra shirts for his parents.

The treatment for Mona, the baby with GERD? Small, frequent feedings to prevent overload of her stomach, adding cereal to the any bottle feed to help thicken them and weigh down the liquid, thus preventing some of the spit up (ask your doctor if this is appropriate for your baby), holding her upright after feeds for 15-20 minutes, and inclining her crib by putting a thick book under each of 2 crib legs to help her upper body stay higher than her feet which helps her stomach to empty sooner. To prevent Sudden Infant death Syndrome, she should still be placed on her back to sleep. Sometimes, pediatricians prescribe medication that decreases the acid content of the stomach to help relieve the pain of stomach contents refluxing into the esophagus.

Treatment for Chloe, the crier? Patience and tincture of time. You can’t spoil a young baby, so hold, rock and sway with her to keep her calm. Enlist a baby sitter or grandparents to help.

Treatment for parents? Knowing that someday your baby will grow up, no longer need a bib, and probably have a baby who spits up too.

Julie Kardos, MD with Naline Lai, MD

Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro

Just in time for Father’s Day— the book Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro. Written by our pediatrician colleague, Dr. David Hill, this North Carolina based Pediatrician brings a humorous, yet practical perspective on fatherhood. His book includes chapters on nontraditional parenting relationships, talking to kids about sexual development and helping your child sleep. Two Peds in a Pod is pleased to give you a sneak peek:

Dads are not good for kids just because we do the same stuff moms do. That’s not to say doing that stuff isn’t important; it’s critical! Mothers and fathers have a similar effect on their children’s moral development, social comptence, school performance, and mental health. There is a reason, after all, it takes 2 parents to make a baby, and not just because it’s more fun that way.

Probably the most accurate generalization about dads versus moms is that fathers play more. In the first 4 years of a child’s life we tend to focus on activities that involve touch and stimulation, like tickling, wrestling, and playing an airplane. It’s our job, in other words, to get kids all wound up so they won’t go to bed, to make them laugh until they pee on themselves. (Note: If this happens, be a good sport and help with the clothing change; after all, it is your fault.) During middle childhood, we’re more likely than mothers to get out and do stuff, like take walks, go fishing, or see a ball game. Are you surprised? No, you are not. You already knew that from watching sitcoms.

……

Some people might still call this a man’s world, but the corners of it devoted to child care can sometimes feel downright unfriendly to fathers. I recall times when, taking my young children to the playground, moms actually got up from a park bench where they had been talking and moved over to the next swing set. It’s possible they were just following the shade, but I couldn’t help looking around to see if my picture was stapled to a nearby utility pole.

As an involved father you might expect everyone you encounter to smile and praise you or tell you how impressed they are at what you’re doing. At times you will get this reaction. Some people seem amazed I can get my kids out of the house wearing 2 matched shoes. In fact, one of my pet peeves is when the children’s clothes clash and someone says, “Daddy must have dressed you today.” I want to look that person dead in the eye and say, “You don’t know me very well, do you? My daughter here left the house in a perfect little outfit, but she threw up on that one, and this is what was in the trunk of the car. Now stand back— she’s looking a little pale.”

David L. Hill, MD, FAAP

excerpted with permission, from Dad to Dad: Parenting like a Pro

Dr. David Hill is a pediatrician, writer and father of 3. He believes humor is essential to surviving parenthood. He has put this theory to the test at various times as a stay-at-home dad, a primary breadwinner, part of a 2-working-parent family, and a single father. He is vice president of Cape Fear Pediatrics. As a writer, Dr. Hill has composed and recorded humorous commentaries for National Public Radio’s All Things Considered and NPR affiliate WHQR. Dad to Dad: Parenting like a Pro is available at bookstores everywhere and through Independent Publishers Group and the American Academy of Pediatrics bookstore.

Mother’s Day: thoughts to nosh on

mothers day My youngest child clambered off the bus Friday afternoon with a fixed grin across his face.

“What are you doing here?” he asked curiously. Usually, I am not home in time to greet the afternoon bus.

“I came to walk you home from the bus stop and then go for a run,” I said beaming, and kissed him on the forehead.

As my son stiffly kissed me back, the strange fixed grin remained on his face. Then I noticed his hands were behind his back. With a sly glance, I saw he clutched a crinkled brown paper bag. I smiled. Hidden crumpled paper bags close to Mother’s Day mean only one thing — a “surprise” gift.

“Don’t you want to go running now?” my son asked as we walked up our driveway, carefully rotating his body so that he continued to face me.

“Yes, good idea” I said, and resisted the temptation to look back.

As I jogged through the neighborhood, I mused over the upcoming holiday and what it meant to be a “happy” mother on mother’s day. Last week I had gained some insights after participating on a panel at Brown University’s Women’s Leadership Conference. The topic of the discussion was “Happy Kids/Happy Parents: What’s the Secret Sauce?” The talk was lively, and since it was a women’s conference, discussion focused on motherhood. Ultimately the conclusion made by moderator Clare Hare was “There is not one right way to parent,” but, perhaps, some good guidelines. Here are some ideas to think about:

On the dilemma of working outside the house vs. working full time as a mom at home: As a mom it is easy to give, give, and give so much of yourself to others that you can lose a little (or a lot) of your own self-identity. By maintaining a self-identity you become a more confident mother. Some women draw confidence from forging a career outside the home. Others draw from organizing local community-based activities. A mom ultimately needs to feel at the end of the day that she raised her own child, no matter how she does it. Stop comparing yourself to others and do what is right for your own family. In an economy where it is often not financially feasible for one partner to stay at home, working outside the home may be less of a choice and more of an obligation; however, the crucial point remains— if you are not the person you want your child to see, then become the person you want her to see.

On helicopter parenting: Worried that you are too much of a helicopter parent? Know where to draw the line. Use the “cry now or cry later” philosophy. If you know your child will be crying in 30 years when he is obese and diabetic because you didn’t insist on a healthy diet with limited “junk”, stand your ground and let him cry now and you refuse him a second helping of cake. If you know your child will NOT be crying in 30 years because you didn’t insist that he continue piano lessons, let it go.

On keeping you and your child sane during the college admission process: Yes, statistically it’s tougher than ever to get into colleges- this is a matter of demographics. There are more college-bound seniors because of population growth, and hence more applicants per spot. But the pressure for students to overextend themselves in multiple activities is imposed by parents and the kids themselves, not by the admission offices. In the years preceding applying to college, encourage your child to concentrate on excelling in specific areas—think quality not quantity. Do what comes from the heart. When your child seems overwhelmed, as Dr. Kardos and I always say, insure basic needs are met — eat, sleep, drink, pee and poop. And don’t forget to leave time for play and relaxation.

On ignoring hype: Be willing to change your opinion in light of data. Use evidence, not hype, to drive your actions. Despite data showing teens naturally awaken later in the morning than younger children, one audience member recounted how she still encountered many difficulties when she advocated for later high school start times in her school district.

All thoughts to nosh on.

You never realize the soaring magnitude of your own mother’s love until you meet your child. No matter your approach to raising children, we wish you “happy” as you remember how you felt when you were the child who brought home a brown crinkled paper bag to surprise your own mom. And again “happy” as you feel gratitude and awe for the privilege of now receiving the surprise.

Dr. Kardos and I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.

Naline Lai, MD

Special thanks to my fellow panelists: Clare Hare, Principle of Clare Hare Design; Jill Hereford Caskey, Director, Alumni College Advising Program, Office of Alumni Relations, Brown University; Judith Owens , Director of Sleep Medicine, Children’s National Medical Center; Peg Tyre, Director of National Advocacy, Edwin Gould Foundation, author of The Trouble With Boys and The Good School.

Why is my baby’s head flat? Positional plagiocephaly

Squeezed through the birth canal, many babies are born with pointy, cone-shaped heads. Others, delivered by caesarian section, start off life with round heads. No baby begins with a flat head. But as parents put babies on their backs to sleep in accordance with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome prevention guidelines, babies are developing flat heads.

Called positional plagiocephaly, a young infant’s head flattens when prolonged pressure is placed on one spot. Tricks to prevent positional plagiocephaly all encourage equal pressure over the entire head. Because babies’ heads are malleable, parents can easily prevent and treat the flatness. In fact, the flat shape begins to correct itself after six months of age, when babies spend less time lying down and more time sitting and crawling. Additionally, increased hair growth hides some of the flatness.

To prevent positional plagiocephaly, place your baby prone (belly down) frequently WHILE AWAKE, starting in the newborn period. This tummy time decreases pressure on the back of the head. Some babies are not fond of tummy time and will cry until they are back on their backs. For those kids, in our next post, guest blogger physical therapist Deborah Stack will address ways to make the time tolerable.

Encourage your baby to look to both sides while lying down. Too much time turned to one side will cause flattening on that side. Alternate how you place the baby in crib so that sometimes she turns to the right and other times she turns to the left to face into the room and away from the wall. If your baby seems to prefer looking only to the right or only to the left, place toys or bright objects toward the non-preferred side. If bottle feeding, switch off which arm you use to feed your baby, so that the baby sometimes turns to the right and sometimes to the left . If breastfeeding, start and end on the side that the baby tends to avoid. These actions will help prevent neck muscles from becoming too tight on one side and thus allow your baby to turn easily to both sides.

Some babies wear helmets to correct their abnormal head flattening. Neurosurgeons, who are head and brain specialists, prescribe these helmets for babies who have extreme flattening. Fortunately, the majority of babies with positional plagiocephaly do not need to wear helmets.

You also may have heard of babies who need corrective surgery for an abnormal head shape. This condition, called craniosynostosis, is rare. Pediatricians monitor the size and shape of the head and check the soft spot on the top of the head at every check-up. A baby’s skull develops in pieces as a fetus, and these pieces eventually come together at predictable places called sutures. If the pieces come together too early or the soft spot closes too soon, corrective surgery must be performed.

So, avoid head flatness by rotating your baby’s position frequently (think rotisserie chicken!) and provide plenty of “tummy time” when awake. Start when the baby first comes home.

If you are worried about your baby’s head shape, just head on over to your baby’s pediatrician and bring up your concern. Trust us, your concern will not “fall flat.”

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD

Parents of one-year-olds: Rule your Roost!

When your baby turns one, you’ll realize he has a much stronger will. My oldest threw his first tantrum the day he turned one. At first, we puzzled: why was he suddenly lying face down on the kitchen floor? The indignant crying that followed clued us to his anger. “Oh, it’s a tantrum,” my husband and I laughed, relieved.

Parenting one-year-olds requires the recognition that your child innately desires to become independent of you. Eat, drink, sleep, pee, poop: eventually your child will learn to control these basics of life by himself. We want our children to feed themselves, go to sleep when they feel tired, and pee and poop on the potty. Of course, there’s more to life such as playing, forming relationships, succeeding in school, etc, but we all need the basics. The challenge comes in recognizing when to allow your child more independence and when to reinforce your authority.

Here’s the mantra: Parents provide unconditional love while they simultaneously make rules, enforce rules, and decide when rules need to be changed. Parents are the safety officers and provide food, clothing, and a safe place to sleep. Parents are teachers. Children are the sponges and the experimenters. Here are concrete examples of how to provide loving guidance:

Eating: The rules for parents are to provide healthy food choices, calm mealtimes, and to enforce sitting during meals. The child must sit to eat. Walking while eating poses a choking hazard. Children decide how much, if any, food they will eat. They choose if they eat only the chicken or only the peas and strawberries. They decide how much of their water or milk they drink. By age one, they should be feeding themselves part or ideally all of their meal. By 18 months they should be able to use a spoon or fork for part of their meal.

If, however, parents continue to completely spoon feed their children, cajole their children into eating “just one more bite,” insist that their child can’t have strawberries until they eat their chicken, or bribe their children by dangling a cookie as a reward for eating dinner, then the child gets the message that independence is undesirable. They will learn to ignore their internal sensations of hunger and fullness.

For perspective, remember that newborns eat frequently and enthusiastically because they gain an ounce per day on average, or one pound every 2-3 weeks. A typical one-year-old gains about 5 pounds during his entire second year, or one pound every 2-3 months. Normal, healthy toddlers do not always eat every meal of every day, nor do they finish all meals. Just provide the healthy food, sit back, and enjoy meal time with your toddler and the rest of the family.

A one-year-old child will throw food off of his high chair tray to see how you react. Do you laugh? Do you shout? Do you do a funny dance to try to get him to eat his food? Then he will continue to refuse to eat and throw the food instead. If you say blandly,” I see you are full. Here, let’s get you down so you can play,” then he will do one of two things:

1) He will go play. He was not hungry in the first place.

2) He will think twice about throwing food in the future because whenever he throws food, you put him down to play. He will learn to eat the food when he feels hungry instead of throwing it.

Sleep: The rule is that parents decide on reasonable bedtimes and naptimes. The toddler decides when he actually falls asleep. Singing to oneself or playing in the crib is fine. Even cries of protest are fine. Check to make sure he hasn’t pooped or knocked his binky out of the crib. After you change the poopy diaper/hand back the binky, LEAVE THE ROOM! Many parents tell me that “he just seems like he wants to play at 2:00am or he seems hungry.” Well, this assessment may be correct, but remember who is boss. Unless your family tradition is to play a game and have a snack every morning at 2:00am, then just say “No, time for sleep now,” and ignore his protests.

Pee/poop: The rule is that parents keep bowel movements soft by offering a healthy diet. The toddler who feels pain when he poops will do his best not to have a bowel movement. Going into potty training a year or two from now with a constipated child can lead to many battles.

Even if your child does not show interest in potty training for another year or two, talk up the advantages of putting pee and poop in the potty as early as age one. Remember, repetition is how kids learn.

Your one-year-old will test your resolve. He is now able to think to himself, “Is this STILL the rule?” or “What will happen if I do this?” That’s why he goes repeatedly to forbidden territory such as the TV or a standing lamp or plug outlet, stops when you say “No no!”, smiles, and proceeds to reach for the forbidden object.

When you feel exasperated by the number of times you need to redirect your toddler, remember that if toddlers learned everything the first time around, they wouldn’t need parenting. Permit your growing child to develop her emerging independence whenever safely possible. Encourage her to feed herself even if that is messier and slower. Allow her to fall asleep in her crib and resist rocking her to sleep. Everyone deserves to learn how to fall asleep independently. You don’t want to train a future insomniac adult.

And if you are baffled by your child’s running away from you one minute and clinging to you the next, just think how confused your child must feel: she’s driven towards independence on the one hand and on the other hand she knows she’s wholly dependent upon you for basic needs. Above all else, remember the goal of parenthood is to help your child grow into a confident, independent adult… who remembers to call his parents every day to say good night… ok, at least once a week to check in…. ok, keep in touch with those who got him there!